Tag In Which I Invite Several Characters I Shouldn't To Dinner

*creeps back into blogosphere*

*points accusingly at Life*

Let's just move on.

(Unless, of course, you didn't even notice I was gone for an extra week two weeks nearly a month. In which case, we need to Talk.)

Today we have a tag about books. And food. (I have been told food is popular. I'm not sure why.) (I mean, who wants to eat, right?? apart from me 65.31% of the time?)

But, to mix things up a bit, I'm going to focus on one book series. One I think deserves more attention. I mean, I can't seem to find the fandom?? which is ridiculous. Not even on Pinterest, apart from a few boards with amateur fanart.

(I shouldn't say that, or it'll turn out to be someone here's art, and then I will die of embarassment... The fanart is better than any I've done, okay?)

The Literary Dinner Party Tag

Featuring: Artemis Fowl (Eoin Colfer)

I was tagged for this by Lila Kims, who at the time was blogging at The Cheapskate Bibliomaniac, but she's now at... *scratches desperately through brain* *this is why I don't leave my laptop ugh* The Redhooded Writer! Thanks, Lila... although I can't seem to access your original post since your old blog's no longer up, so I don't have the rules. Not that I ever follow them anyway. :P

One Character Who Can/Likes To Cook:

Butler can cook. In fact, if I remember correctly, chef training was part of his bodyguard/Butler training? Which is good because Artemis would, frankly, be helpless in the kitchen.

(Mulch Diggums likes food, but I'm not letting him in my kitchen)

One Character Who Has Money To Fund the Party:

Artemis Fowl the Second. I'd save him for a question that fit him better, but all the other rich people are bad guys and I don't want them. (They're not the kind of bad guys you'd invite.)

(The above two are not actual quotes, much as they may sound like it...)

 

One Character Who Might Cause A Scene:

Um.

...so many options...

I think I'll go with Mulch. He definitely has a habit of causing a scene...

One Character Who Is Funny/Amusing:

*Foaly points urgently into the distance*

Foaly. (Or else Mulch, but he got the last question.) He's a centaur hacker who wears a tinfoil hat. And he has a great sense of humour. (Although I guess that depends on how much you have to work with him your stance. For example, Root can't stand him; Artemis, from memory, thinks he's funny.)

One Character Who Is Super Social/Popular:

Commander Vinyáya is well-respected and admired, and I always wished we'd seen more of her, so I'm going to invite her. I'm not sure how well she'll cope with Mulch, but she can talk military stuff with Holly and Root and Trouble.

One Villain:

Can I say Artemis again? does he count as a villain? he was a villain in the first book!

I JUST DON'T WANT TO INVITE OPAL, OKAY? She's crazy. Her description is literally "a psychotic pixie" except I think "megalomaniac", "power-crazed" and "paranoid" should be in there somewhere, along with "arrogant" and "screaming".

One Couple - Doesn't Have To Be Romantic:

Holly Short and Artemis (who's already been invited). Non-romantic. Just - they're so good together? They grow into best friends and it's awesome. Especially since, as Artemis says, he's never had a friend before [and doesn't know how it's done, but never mind].

Holly quote + incorrect Holly quote...

One Hero/Heroine:

Trouble Kelp. He turns out to be a pretty decent guy. And we have to have someone who'll provide support for our next character, Root. (Who, unfortunately, doesn't want to talk to Mulch, is entirely fed up with Foaly, and has a grudging tolerance of Artemis. Poor guy needs someone to talk to.)

Also not an actual quote... but now I think maybe Tumblr has
the Artemis Fowl fandom?? *slides off to check*

One Under Appreciated Character:

Captain Julius Root. He was so under-appreciated [by the aUTHOR] that he-

Excuse you, Colfer. How could you.

Or, y'know, in characters who didn't at any point [spoilers!], Artemis's psychologist. I wonder how much that man was paid, because it wasn't enough. (He's underappreciated, but I don't actually want to invite him...)

One Character Of Your Choice:

Juliet. She's actually not in many of the stories, and she's a bit of an airhead despite being able to take down almost anyone except her brother Butler, but I still like her.

~~~

You may notice the twins didn't get a mention. That's because, well, I don't like them. They talk baby-talk and yet one's basically more of a genius than Artemis (my suspension of disbelief survived hi-tech fairies and billionaire twelve-year-old villains, but died at this...) and the other one likes gross stuff and is happy to be referred to by his twin as "simple-toon". Dunno. Just don't like them.

~~~

No tagging today! Because I don't follow the rules have the rules handy so I obviously have no idea that I'm supposed to tag people hahahaa! Also because when I left the blogosphere for my unintended and completely ineffectual haitus, everyone was doing this tag. So. I'm fashionably late with the trends, as always. *waves awkwardly*

Have you read Artemis Fowl? If so: Who's your favourite character? Who do you think would cause the most of a scene? Would you invite Mulch? What do you think of the twins? Of Juliet? Is Foaly cool or not? Is Butler awesome or is he awesome??

If you haven't read them, you should give them a go! They're clean, as I recall, although there are... obviously... fairies and magic. With technology because apparently these fairies couldn't care less about iron. If you like evil child geniuses and banter, this series sounds great for you... as long as you don't mind characters dying. Don't worry, it's only permanent half the time.

I'm not going to ask if you noticed I was gone... that would sound desperate. xP

And finally... which guest do you think would be the final cause of my party literally blowing up??