Awards Ceremony! | Silmaril Awards 2021

So. The villains who weren’t shortlisted have been politely asked to leave, the edge of a curtain and also an odd circular patch in the lawn have been set on fire, several villain-to-villain farewells have been topped with a promise of eternal friendship (by which I mean "my good friend, your flair for villainy is commendable, if you ever need an ally in a plan I’d be touched if you thought of me, I love murder"), and a portal has been opened up in my bathtub because aPPARENTLY the front door wasn’t dramatic enough to leave by.

I’m just happy I didn’t need to call the dragons to drive them out.

So this leaves us, of course, at the final round of the award:

 

Most Nefarious Villain: Awards Ceremony

Presented, of course, by Saruman, noted Istari from Middle Earth!

Excuse me for a moment while I just blibbityblobbitybloop myself into a third person side character.

*crackling static*

Voting Opens! | Silmaril Awards 2021

So it's one week in, and my house is full of villains. Which I suppose I did sign up for, literally, I put my name in the box an' all, but there are?? One hundred and two of them? Actually it might be a hundred and three, it's difficult to keep track, there are a couple of them currently speedwalking laps of the kitchen table while giving out-of-breath evil monologues and I'm not sure which of them is chasing who.

And among that one hundred and two, there have been some definite reader favourites!

Unfortunately, even among those favourites, not everyone can go in the running for a Silmaril Award. We have to be very picky. After all, there is but one Nefarious Villain Silmaril, and – I believe I might have mentioned already – there are a hundred and two villains. 

Which is why only the top five – as nominated by your good selves, and tallied up by my own numb fingers! – will make it to the voting round. 

So let's have a moment here to applaud all the lovely nominees. Very nefarious, folks, very nefarious. I've heard some quite elegant monologues (and some terrible ones, but I'm not naming names, because I am rather fond of my ears being attached). Three plates and a floral teapot have fallen, as poor innocent bystanders (again, I'm not naming names here, but to save myself from the wounded honour of the English villains I will specify that it was not any of them. Or any of the other tea-drinkers. Of which there seems to be an unreasonably high percentage among the villains, and if they haven't been spotted drinking tea they always give me the impression of being tea-drinkers, so I have some questions here. Namely, does evil naturally gravitate to tea, or does too much tea make one evil.)

I think someone ate my petunias. I'm afraid to ask who.

Nominations Open! | Silmaril Awards 2021

(So. Let me just. Take a moment for the jitters.)

(Stress? who, me? there is absolutely no reason that I would be nervous, wha-ha-hat– Did you hear an explosion outside or was that just my imagination? I'm in sudden fear for the lives of my petunias–) 

 

Anyway, it's my pleasure and stress to announce to you all, shouting into the depths of the blogosphere like the slightly hoarse and crazy-eyed gremlin I am:

 

Beloved friends and tolerated acquaintances, it's time
for the 2021 Silmaril Awards!

And not only! am I! hosting?? a category! but also!

It's the villains.

Nominations For the Most Nefarious Villain!

 

How to nominate your favourite bundle of death:

• Jump in the comments of this post and yell their name! Usually it's "I nominate Captain Hook! his mustache is the epitome of nefariousness in villains!" or something like that, but if you feel like hiring a herald or something to jazz your nomination up a bit, go for it. It's what your villain would want.
  
  

flowers = murder attempt. obviously. (because murder.) | Quirk #8

It's the last Saturday of August and in a shocking turn of events I have a Quirk ready for you to read.  

("But how is that shocking," you say, in your innocence. "You said you would put your Quirk up today?" Ahhhh I remember the naivety of youth, back when things were simple and life was sweet and I had not made a habit of vanishing for full half-years at a time and also I actually READ books instead of bringing them home and then avoiding their accusing gazes until the library demands their return.)

Annnnnyway. A Quirk.

 

“Oooh. Flowers.” Casper leaned in close over Tara’s shoulder, letting the smirk into his voice.

He would have liked to blame her slight jump on his increased sneakiness, seeing how she’d claimed that she, as his guard, was the only reason any of his definitely-not-foolish-what-do-you-mean-Tara-there’s-no-way-this-can-go-wrong-and-anyway-I’m-the-king plans had ever succeeded, and seeing how she had furthermore claimed he’d never have any sneakiness ever, and seeing how his whole self-imposed training thing was admittedly an uncoordinated attempt to prove her wrong. But if he was entirely honest the jump was probably more to do with her attention being transfixed by the giant bouquet of flowers on the table in front of her.

…Of course, he tried to never be entirely honest, what an uncomfortable and chaos-free way that would be to live. So he could probably give at least half a point to the sneakiness training. He deserved that. Especially since, far from giving him a point if she knew about the training, she would no doubt laugh in his face.

a note

This is just a very brief post to let you know: 

You should definitely go and check out Jenelle Schmidt's blog! Preferably in the next uhhh immediately. The next immediately. Do that. 

 

(Some of you know what's happening! Some of you have been keeping an eye on the calendar! Some of you are more like me and life sneaks up on you sometimes and you turn around and it's nearly September which is basically pre-Christmas already and wow 2022 huh I didn't get anything done at all but hey it was nice knowing you, life.)

((Don't mind me. I'm just sitting at my laptop, still sweaty from basketball, and wearing a bright yellow Madeline hat because it's Book Week in Australia and I need to dress up for work but I had to mAKE the costume, rude.))

(((Everything is fine.)))

Buuut anyway yes go and read Jenelle's blog. *hyperventilates*

One Quirk Later #8 || The Jolly Genre Jubilee Tag

 

Good moooorning! 

Or as I always hear it in my head: 

So I'm here with a quirk, as I said I would be? And you're here reading it, as you said I hoped you would be? So we're all men of our word, really, except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman.

In conclusion: 

to celebrate the weekend,

a Quirk. *waves arms vaguely*

 

One Quirk Later: Prompt #8

  Oh look, it's a link to my Pinterest. Enable your procrastination and my own by following the link and me. 

 

So first of all, we have a reference to murder! this is definitely not a theme with the quirks! nothing to see here, folks! 

( I feel like there might be a change in tone with this Quirk, though? It does seem a little different to previous ones. Although that... might just be the presence of actual colour.....)

Secondly, I have no idea what I'm doing with this Quirk. Which is... kind of the point, really. I try to build the story around the pictures, not the pictures around the story in my head. It means I'm scratching around thinking of ideas just like you!

...Because, of course, you will be joining in. *nod nod*

Guess who's not, in fact, dead!

What's this? An update? From me??

...it's exactly as likely as you'd think, seeing how I've Vanishethed for months again, so... not very.

I promised a short break and a Quirk! and then I! dropped off the face of the earth! sadly not literally, that would be exciting! in what is an unfortunate trend for me! 

Since I've been absent for a while without explanation (which, I have to say, is completely in character, I thought I'd answer some questions which no one has asked but you're probably thinking: 

- Um. What have you been doing?

 

I have been sitting at the entrance to the halls of knowledge. Judging people.

(...work. I work in a library.) 

((I do not actually judge people. Usually. Unless you leave a chewed-on toothpick in your book when you return it.))

I recently became a full-time library assistant, after only a year of casual work, which is exciting! I do miss having that time at home, though. xD (Customer service can be... draining. As anyone who's worked customer service will agree.)

- So... what made you return??

 

Overwhelming guilt.

I jest. Overwhelming guilt causes me to freeze up and ignore the problem and never do anything ever. That's... not to say it didn't exist, but it certainly didn't help me to return xD

I'd been meaning to come back for what feels like months now but is somehow only two? but my internal dialogue went something like this: 

"oh no, I missed the first Saturday of the month! I was meant to do a Quirk!"

"...guess I'll have to wait until next month then" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a supervillain walks into a house | Quirk #7

So it's Monday and therefore not Saturday anywhere. 

But I do have a good reason for being busy on Saturday! Excuses fun story below the Quirk!*

Annnnyway here's my beta-reader tale for this Quirk:

Me: Mum can you read this, and just so you know, because last time you didn't realise they were superheroes, this is a world where superheroes are common.

Mum: can't you write something normal 

Security is less than it should be. The sentries around the back of the house are talking; the one across the street is texting. They don’t notice the glimmer of his cape as he walks, invisible and silent-footed, between them. The front door is locked, but he deals with that.

The scent of the flowers piled on the doormat wafts in with him as he steps inside, a jumble of clashing perfumes that hang heavy around his head.

Quirk #7 | plus an About Me tag where I avoid all answers

It's the first Saturday of March, which means a Quirk prompt! 

Because some of you have been feeding me ridiculously good short stories and this has encouraged me, like the stray cat I am, to keep coming back. 

I'm feeling like this week's prompt could contain a lot of emotion, if that's the direction you wish to take?? (It mentions blood. I know there are several of you who will be happy to hear this.)

 

One Quirk Later: Prompt #7

You know the drill. Pinterest. All of the Pinterest. Enable my procrastination and your own by following the link and me. 

In a World Without Dragons (Cows Are Happier and Less Roasty) | Quirk #6

shhh it's still Saturday somewhere

in the middle of the Pacific maybe?

Please ignore the title. I have given up on Serious Titling and will, from now on, throw whatever comes into my head at my Quirks.

 In a World Without Dragons (Cows Are Happier And Less Roasty)

“Okay, so, I lied.”

I paused, phone half-way to my ear. “…Is this an important thing for me to know, like ‘yes, Lachlan, it was I who ate your sandwich after all,’ or can it wait until after the plan where you get rid of the literal fire-breathing dragons?”

Mathilda spun Soul-Cleaver, the tip making a dimple in the gravel of the road. “An important thing. Probably. I think.”

Choose your own fairy tale adventure! | February Fantasy Month

 

Apparently February is Fantasy Month! which is Exciting! my Quirk will almost definitely fit the theme, seeing as there are dragons, but my Quirks are often fantasy-adjacent anyway. I believe Feburary Fantasy Month is an invention by Jenelle Schmidt? so all the confetti for her! 

Today, I shall be doing a link-up from Fairy Tale Central, called The "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" Fairy Tale Tag. It looks both fun and comprehensive?? There has definitely been some thought put into these questions. 

Hopefully I've put some thought into the answers...

THE QUESTIONS

– Your father the king has declared a contest for your hand in marriage. But he’s allowing you to decide what kind of competition it will be. What do you choose? Is there a penalty for losing, or do the losers just go home while the winner remains to marry you?

I... really have no idea what kind of competition it would be. I guess something involving common sense, because that seems an important feature for a fairy tale world. 

...but, y'know, common sense applied to fairy tale logic. Not regular common sense.

There's no penalty for losing. But the competition is set up in such a way that anyone who makes a bad decision (by which I mean a decision which proves they're a Bad Person) gets Consequences. Booby traps or stray curses providing a face full of pus-filled blisters or something.

– You’ve just been told that you’re the Chosen One – the heir to your kingdom’s throne. Of course you demanded proof, but you didn’t expect quite so much of it to be brought forward. You grudgingly ask the state of the land. Your kingdom is at war with two neighboring kingdoms, a third kingdom is expecting your kingdom to ally with theirs and help them fight in agreement with an old treaty, there is famine in two counties in the north, and the barons of the kingdom are fighting over who will supply the palace with food for the next year. What do you do first?

1. Find out who was ruling before I got there. Are they flat-out evil? If not, they're now my right-hand person. I also need some other experienced people for advisors.
   
2. Reach out to Third Kingdom. Explain that we are not in a position at the moment to be able to help fight, but we do wish to renew our friendship and will help in the future.
3. See if negotiation can be made with Two Neighbouring Kingdoms. I'm actually really interested in the psychology of human interaction and negotiation and mediation and all that kind of thing. It's possible – considering how characters in fairy tales act – that the whole thing could have been blown out of proportion, and an apology for a perceived insult or something would go a long way? (Just. Seeing if we really need to be at war. If we really do, I'm all out of ideas, oops.)
   
4. Meet with the barons. They'll all be supplying food, relative to how much they've produced, but the palace shall be diverting a lot of it to the Two Hungry Counties. If the barons complain, well, if their county gets in trouble in the future, they'll also receive support. Also it's an opportunity for the barons to look good, why are they complaining. I'm just going to... assume... the kingdom has enough money to pay these barons for all this food.
   
5. What caused the famine in the north? Drought? maybe look into infrastructure, dams or wells or something. Attacks by raiders? secure the border. Poor management? check for corruption, replace with more experienced leaders. 

The first step being politics and not, say, food production, is probably further evidence of my Slytherin-ness. Also I didn't realise I had such an involved plan for running a kingdom, if anyone's looking for a queen I am currently open to offers–

One Quirk Later #6 (plus a Christmas tag, because of course)

Ollo ollo ollo. 

Did I ever say when in January I would return, no, I didn't think so-

I maaay however have said "January" and not "February". Possibly. Oops.

You are all amazing for having got involved in my Quirks last year, whether you wrote or read or both, and I do hope you'll bear with me as I get settled back in with blogging!

 

One Quirk Later: Prompt #6

Individual images can be found on my Pinterest boards. At this point I have no memory of which ones, but I do know I spent a long time curating them, so go and have a look.