Choose your own fairy tale adventure! | February Fantasy Month

 

Apparently February is Fantasy Month! which is Exciting! my Quirk will almost definitely fit the theme, seeing as there are dragons, but my Quirks are often fantasy-adjacent anyway. I believe Feburary Fantasy Month is an invention by Jenelle Schmidt? so all the confetti for her! 

Today, I shall be doing a link-up from Fairy Tale Central, called The "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" Fairy Tale Tag. It looks both fun and comprehensive?? There has definitely been some thought put into these questions. 

Hopefully I've put some thought into the answers...

THE QUESTIONS

– Your father the king has declared a contest for your hand in marriage. But he’s allowing you to decide what kind of competition it will be. What do you choose? Is there a penalty for losing, or do the losers just go home while the winner remains to marry you?

I... really have no idea what kind of competition it would be. I guess something involving common sense, because that seems an important feature for a fairy tale world. 

...but, y'know, common sense applied to fairy tale logic. Not regular common sense.

There's no penalty for losing. But the competition is set up in such a way that anyone who makes a bad decision (by which I mean a decision which proves they're a Bad Person) gets Consequences. Booby traps or stray curses providing a face full of pus-filled blisters or something.

– You’ve just been told that you’re the Chosen One – the heir to your kingdom’s throne. Of course you demanded proof, but you didn’t expect quite so much of it to be brought forward. You grudgingly ask the state of the land. Your kingdom is at war with two neighboring kingdoms, a third kingdom is expecting your kingdom to ally with theirs and help them fight in agreement with an old treaty, there is famine in two counties in the north, and the barons of the kingdom are fighting over who will supply the palace with food for the next year. What do you do first?

1. Find out who was ruling before I got there. Are they flat-out evil? If not, they're now my right-hand person. I also need some other experienced people for advisors.
   
2. Reach out to Third Kingdom. Explain that we are not in a position at the moment to be able to help fight, but we do wish to renew our friendship and will help in the future.
3. See if negotiation can be made with Two Neighbouring Kingdoms. I'm actually really interested in the psychology of human interaction and negotiation and mediation and all that kind of thing. It's possible – considering how characters in fairy tales act – that the whole thing could have been blown out of proportion, and an apology for a perceived insult or something would go a long way? (Just. Seeing if we really need to be at war. If we really do, I'm all out of ideas, oops.)
   
4. Meet with the barons. They'll all be supplying food, relative to how much they've produced, but the palace shall be diverting a lot of it to the Two Hungry Counties. If the barons complain, well, if their county gets in trouble in the future, they'll also receive support. Also it's an opportunity for the barons to look good, why are they complaining. I'm just going to... assume... the kingdom has enough money to pay these barons for all this food.
   
5. What caused the famine in the north? Drought? maybe look into infrastructure, dams or wells or something. Attacks by raiders? secure the border. Poor management? check for corruption, replace with more experienced leaders. 

The first step being politics and not, say, food production, is probably further evidence of my Slytherin-ness. Also I didn't realise I had such an involved plan for running a kingdom, if anyone's looking for a queen I am currently open to offers–

– You’ve set off to find your fortune but end up caught in a storm in the middle of the night in an enchanted forest…and there’s an ominous growl emitting from the trees. A warm looking cottage sits nearby but you’ve heard that questionable figures dwell in this wood. What’s your plan of action?

Observe the cottage. You see interesting things when you stand patiently in the rain, looking through a window into a candle-lit room. It's Fairy Tale Rules. 

In the cottage, there may be something I need to defeat. Or someone I need to rescue. Or knowledge I need. A little man singing "My name is Rumpelstiltskin, but no one will ever guess that, mwahaha!" Any which way, I'm going to find my fortune. 

– It is time to christen your dear new baby. It’s expected to invite the local fairies but they’re known for “gifting” babies with less-than-desirable characteristics (Ella Enchanted-style). Do you invite them anyway or “accidentally” forget to send out an invitation and risk the wrath of the petty (but powerful) fairy-kind upon your kingdom?

Hm. Either my darling child gets weird "gifts" (which would be interesting) or I can get a fairy curse put on the kingdom (which would result in a happy ever after and a love match for my child). 

...I'm actually torn over this one? I could invite the fairies and go by Dealing With Fae rules to gently manipulate them into gifts that are, when you look at them the right way, useful or cool. Or I could choose to go with a curse on the kingdom/my child/myself, which would kick off a fairytale quest of a story.

I think... I'll invite the fairies, do my best to guide/gentle their gifts (I mean, the gifts will probably kick off a fairytale quest arc anyway), and then keep the fairies as connections. "Oh, no, the cruel neighbouring prince says he'll declare war if he can't marry the princess! My poor daughter, with her eyes as pink as sunrise and her laugh like bells (not delicate ones either) and her gold touch (but only to flowers) and her ability to talk to frogs! Whatever will her beloved fairy godmothers think–"

– Your fairy godmother grants the choice of three gowns for your one chance to meet the prince at the ball: a dress the color of the golden sun, a dress the color of the silver moon, or a dress the color of the sky. Which dress do you choose?

Mm. Probably the colour of the sky. Gold just seems like I'd be trying too hard. The moon sounds cool, but there are so many colours in the sky?? I'm going to say that my sky-colour dress changes from sunrise to deep midday to sunset to ooh night sky, depending on... the time of day? my mood? what I want it to look like? I'm not really fussy. 

Actually, I could just go for a night sky dress, covered with stars, and that would be amazing enough. 

– Your cursed beloved tells you that only when he marries a true-blood princess will he be set free. Do you choose to aid him by finding a princess that can set him free from his horrible curse? Or do you visit the witch of the forest and make a deal with her to become a princess – but you will only get to be with your prince one day a year.

...what kind of a horrible curse are we talking? Turns into a monster at night and murders entire villages? or can't chew with his mouth closed? Because neither of these "cures" are sounding great and I just want to be sure that this is something that really needs fixing. 

I would: 

1. Find out who placed the curse and visit them.
   
2. Find out the purpose of this curse. What does the Random Witch, Etc, gain from this curse? Unless their beloved daughter is a true-blood princess, it's hard to see their motivation. Can I persuade them it really isn't worth their while? 
3. If it's a no-go on getting the Random Witch to drop the curse, or even give me the short-cut cheat's way of breaking it, start looking at the exact words of the curse. What is meant by "true-blood"? Is adoption enough? Is there a local king and queen I'm friends with who'd be willing to have an extra daughter?? Do not underestimate my Slytherin habit of collecting fictional connections.
   wait does that mean I'm Slughorn
   no no no X'D
   
4. Have another look at my beloved. Is he a prince? if so, by marrying him would I become a princess, thus breaking the curse? (Let's look at "true-blood" again... probably not, but it's worth the consideration.) Am I really in love with him, 100%, forever after? (Personally, if I were cursed, the situation would have to be pretty dire before I told my boyfriend "to break the curse, I'll have to marry someone else!") 
5. If we're genuinely truly in love, I guess I'm becoming a princess via poorly-advised witch-deal?? We can write letters and also invent the telephone or something. 
6. (But if we're not genuinely truly in love, I can help find an Actual Princess.)
   

– You’ve just completed a fairy tale adventure worthy to join the ranks of the world’s greatest legends. Alas, the kingdom’s most famous minstrel is also notorious for adding his own embellishments. Would you rather have your story lost to the world, your name and deeds forgotten, or to to be known as a hero throughout the land…just in a very inaccurate and mangled version of the story?

Both. I shall encourage multiple versions with exciting inaccuracies and eventually my story will be lost, and the people shall have some interesting new legends.

...I mean, it's traditional for heroes to have legends, and is it a proper legend if there aren't multiple conflicting versions? 

(Plus this way I can go incognito. "Jem? Jem the Giant-Slayer? Jem the Giant-Slayer with hair as red as a sunset, barely over five feet tall, one eye? that Jem? nah mate haha, flattered though")

– You’ve just been approached by a man in a pointy hat who says you’re the chosen one destined to save a magical world. Before you enter the portal to this new world, you are allowed to take one piece of modern technology with you. What do you choose?

I'm going to assume that this piece of technology will continue working and not get fried by portal-jumping or stray magic, but will work without connection to our world (and therefore, oh, the internet *weeps*). I'm also going to assume magic... somehow... charges my tech? 

I shall take my phone, complete with Spotify.

I'm going to save the magical world, and I am going to have my own soundtrack blasting when I do it. That should add to the legends about me....

"where is that music coming from–"

– Your parents have angered a powerful witch in your land, and she has chosen to strike out at you to punish your parents. However, since you weren’t the one who actually angered her, she’s letting you choose your own fate: 1) sleep for 100 years and leave your parents to die of old age while you sleep, 2) be locked alone in a faraway tower so your parents will never find you, 3) lose your voice so you’ll never be able to speak to your parents, or 4) give you a fatal golden touch so that you can’t hug your parents lest you turn them into statutes.

Lose my voice, definitely. People do cope with being mute. And my fear would be being unable to save people I care about, so sleeping or being locked in a tower is Not Optimal. The fatal golden touch, if necessary, could have interesting applications, but I'd rather not. Losing my voice, in a fairy tale world, would simply be asking to become the protagonist and get a cool quest (compared to being the subject/victim/....princess of the fairy tale...)

I would also then apologise mutely to the witch, and see if I could work for her with cleaning or do an apprenticeship or something. The benefits would be twofold: 1) I appease the witch, with the potential to become a friend or ally; 2) I get useful fairy tale skills!

Also, the chances of me annoying her while I work are far lower if I have no voice.

– You just found out that you have a twin, and you two were separated from birth because an ancient prophecy claimed one of you would bring ruin upon the kingdom. Are you the prophesied twin of ruin, or is it your brother/sister? How do you figure that out, and what do you and your twin decide to do about it?

...well this one's tricky. 

wAIT NO I HAVE IT. 

1. Find a dragon.
2. Paper-scissors-rock with my twin to find out who gets to ride the dragon.
3. Name the dragon Ruin.
4. Fly it over the kingdom and than land it on the castle or something.
5. I (or my twin) have now "brought Ruin upon the kingdom".
6. Prophecy fulfilled, we can now live normal lives. With our dragon.
   

THE LINKUP

Want to answer these questions yourself? They're all available over here, on Fairy Tale Central! Write a post, add it to the link-up, and celebrate February Fantasy Month with Jenelle, Fairy Tale Central, me, and everyone else who's having a party this month!

Agree with my answers? Strongly disagree with my answers? Wish to point out important fairy tale aspects I've overlooked? Want to scream about fairy tale logic? Know an opening for adventurer or queen?* Comment!

 *prepares Spotify playlists because I am Ready For This

 

 

(My Quirk will be up next Saturday! *aggressively glues fingers to keyboard*)