Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Of Cookies and Books

And today we have... *drum roll*... a tag!

Actually, no. Today we have BOOKS. So stop groaning.

okay it's a book tag

Thanks to Julian at Saver of Memories for giving me this opportunity to rave about books! :)

Of Cookies and Books

...Hang on.

A quick word before we get to the books:

I have never eaten a cookie in my life.

OY - there's no need for rotten fruit!!

I'm an Aussie. We call them biscuits. (I believe in the USA 'biscuits' are what you call scones??) And for the same cultural reason I may be changing some of the biscuits. Because what even is a Dutch Snowball??

Yes. I could Google it. But I'm making a point here.

Chocolate Chip || a book that never gets old

Ella Enchanted (Gail Carson Levine) and Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen).

I love the writing style, so - even though I've read them often enough that I know the endings (which are unlikely to have changed since last time) - I still enjoy rereading them. I always come across snippets of humour of dialogue that are worth it, too.

Dutch Snowballs Cornflake and Sultana Biscuits || a book that gave you an unexpected surprise

I don't know what Dutch Snowballs are, so I'm changing this one to Cornflake/Sultana Biscuits. Because you think they're choc-chip and then they're not and you get a mouthful of deceit and betrayal. And biscuits with cornflakes are always stale. I suppose this would be, specifically, an unpleasant surprise. Never mind.

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (Agatha Christie) certainly surprised me. That twist. I didn't actually realise that was even possible.

Also the ending of All Fall Down (Ally Carter). I didn't see that coming either. (Not the very end, which seemed a little ordinary considering what she'd been through, but the bit just before the end. That bit. If you've read it you know what I'm on about.)

It's really hard to talk about books with surprises without spoiling the surprises. Or else sounding really weird.Or both, which is my usual preference.

[I feel I must add here that, by definition, all surprises are unexpected??]

Molasses Jamdrops || a book with a character that gets in a sticky situation

(Jamdrops were the only biscuits I can think of that could be sticky. Not perfect, but here in Australia, we feed molasses to the cows, not put it in biscuits. [Syrup is used in cooking.])

The False Prince (Jennifer Neilsen) and the rest of the Ascendance Trilogy. Sage gets into more sticky situations than you'd think possible, as you'll know if you've read the books. If you haven't, wHY ARE YOU HERE. DEPART THIS INSTANT FOR YOUR LIBRARY.

(After leaving a comment, obviously.)

Oreo || a book dealing with the light and the darkness

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C.S. Lewis) deals thematically with light and darkness, and with great success, I feel.

Jill Williamson's book By Darkness Hid also has to be mentioned... it definitely deals with light and darkness. ;P

Sugar Hundreds and Thousands Biscuits || a book with a sugary sweet villain

This is an Arnotts Hundreds and Thousands biscuit.
Image from Google.

Apparently I read all the wrong books, because no villains fitting that description come instantly to mind. Probably the closest would be Opal Koboi from the Artemis Fowl series (Eoin Colfer). She's not exactly "sugary sweet"... she's a psychotic pixie... but she has great one-liners/insults/comebacks.

Monster Shortbread || a book that confused your emotions

Shortbread confuses me because I'm supposed to like it (everyone else does, apparently) and I don't??

And when I first read "monster cookie", this was the only thing coming to mind -

(I have since checked Google. Your Monster biscuits. I like them. ANOTHER.)
(But why would they confuse your emotions??)

As for books: I recently read Go Set a Watchman and that confused my emotions, let me tell you. It twisted my feelings up and then sat on them. Without having the decency to untangle them afterwards. I have no idea what the ending was. (Confession: I'm waiting for my mother to read it so she can explain.)

Snickerdoodle || a book that made you laugh

Originally I thought 'snickerdoodle' would be one of the first biscuits to go. I mean, I'd never even heard of the thing! Buuut, I can't think of any other biscuits that make me laugh, and snickerdoodles do. Just by their name. So, snickerdoodle, you get to stay.

How to Train Your Dragon, Cressida Cowell; any of Odo Hirsch's books for kids (try Hazel Green or the Will Buster trilogy); the HIVE series by Mark Walden (warning: comes with character deaths).

Also The Red Book (Beck and Matt Stanton).

Probably best if you don't read this picture-book to young children, though.

Peanut Butter || a book with a nutty character

(I have had biscuits with peanuts [didn't like them much], but never a biscuit with peanut butter.)

The Artemis Fowl series (Eoin Colfer) - Opal Koboi is nutty, as is Mulch. Foaly's not entirely stable either (he's a centaur wearing a tin-foil hat, so...)

The Fixer (Jennifer Lynn Barnes) - Asher's a pretty odd character.

Anzac || a book set in Australia

Can you believe, I actually had to make this one up myself??

Operation Foxtrot Five. Independently published by Christian author from Western Australia, D.J. Stutley. Go read the series now. NOW. While it's unlikely you'll find them in your local library, you can buy ebooks directly for ONE. AUSTRALIAN. DOLLAR. Seriously, that's like 80c in America??

(I am not being paid to say this, by the way ;)

Another Australian author is Jackie French; she writes historical and Australian fiction. Her historical books for kids can be great. I recommend Tom Appleby Convict Boy, Soldier on the Hill, Diary of a Wombat (picture book, very funny) and The Shaggy Gully Times (picture book/'newspaper', full of editor's notes in ink, very funny).

And I tried - but couldn't manage - to fit in Tim Tams, because they're awesome. "Two layers of chocolate malted biscuit, separated by a light chocolate cream filling, and coated in a thin layer of textured chocolate." Do you have Tim Tams in the USA? (just checking)

Now you've read my ravings, here are the [original] questions: 
Chocolate chip - a book that never grows old
Dutch snowballs - a book that gave you an unexpected surprise
Molasses - a book with a character that gets into a sticky situation
Oreo - a book that deals with light and darkness
Sugar - a book with a sugary sweet villain
Monster - a book that confused your emotions
Snickerdoodle - a book that made you laugh
Peanut butter - a book with a nutty character

And I tag anyone who wants to do this. Normally I don't take the easy way out - I try to make it personal and tag even just one or two people - but honestly I've been working on this tag longer than it deserves?? and I don't know who's already done it. So. I would love to see anyone take this tag!

And. Since we're talking about books, I am also on Goodreads, and I ALWAYS want book recommendations. I also love knowing when other people I know adore my favourite books. (That sentence didn't make as much sense as it could have. Just go with it.) So feel free to connect with me on Goodreads! I'm very friendly! Truly! What, have you been talking to my sisters??

Have you read any of these books? Want to fangirl with me? Are you confused as to why Artemis Fowl doesn't have a bigger fandom?? (I tried to google images for the quotes? and there were none??) Have you ever read D.J. Stutley's books?? (we will be friends forever and I may suffocate you with my excitement) Am I missing out on great "cookies"? What biscuits would you recommend? Tell me all in the comments!


  1. Haha I love how you made the cookies into Aussie biscuits! It made my Aussie self very happy. XD I STILL need to read the final book in the Ascendance trilogy, agh! I'll have to check my library to see if they have it. :D Great post!

    1. We have to fight for our culture xD YES you need to read The Shadow Throne, Melissa!!

    I have never eaten a cookie either. XD *fistbumps*
    TIM TAMS THOUGH. Maybe that could go for...a book with a really sticky character? I don't even think that makes sense but anyways. XP
    ALL THESE BOOKS ARE SO GOOD. And the ones I haven't read I shall have to stalk. *nods*

    1. *fistbump*

      I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT A SPOT TO PUT THEM. I nearly put them as "confused your emotions" and I was going to have to explain that they were relevant because my emotions get confused when I'm expected to share Tim Tams??

      Yesss Jane, go stalk all the books!

  3. Lol, unlike Jane and Melissa, I'm not an Aussie, and I must be honest my breath caught in my throat for a second while reading that joke! XD

    This was a fun tag to read!!!

    1. Sorry I scared you, Gray xD But I'm not the kind of girl who would not eat biscuits!

      Glad to hear it! :)

  4. Super fun! I must visit Australia someday and try your cookies...

    1. Faith, did you not read this post?? We don't have cookies!! xD (Come visit anyway! Jane and I are going to set up an Aussie version of Realm Makers and you are all invited xD xD)

    2. Awesome! (Sorry, BISCUITS. XD) I will come someday.

  5. Aw! Firstly, I didn't know you were an Aussie??? THAT IS SO COOL!! Secondly, I love how you added little bits of Aussie lessons for us Americans into this post! I learned a bit about Australian cookie-habits, at the very least. ;) I'm also confused. If YOU AUSSIES call COOKIES "biscuits" how can OUR scones be like YOUR biscuits????

    and did I spy a Thor reference there???


    We do not have Tim Tams, alas. They sound yum. Just saying... we DO have what are called "gourmet" or "artisan" chocolates and sometimes they have things that are like biscuit+chocolate layers and stuff??? so you might consider one of them a tim tam...

    1. Um. I may have mis-phrased something there?? Sorry, Kate!
      Our biscuits = your cookies
      Our scones = IDK do you call them scones or biscuits?? (I read a book where the boy called them biscuits... but I really need to stop getting my facts from novels.)

      Thor reference? Absolutely not. *cough* Anyone would think I was a crazed fangirl with nothing better to do than insert quotes and references so I can laugh crazily with myself because I see what I did there... Yep. It's a Thor reference. xD

      Atticus was meant to be the best. person. ever?? And then he wasn't?? BETRAYAL.

      Even if they aren't Tim Tams, those biscuit/chocolate things sound good! :)

    2. HMMMMMMMM. Let me see if I can figure this out. You don't call ANYTHING "cookies," correct???

      We have scones AND biscuits in America... biscuits are flaky and thick and eaten with dinner-foods like meat or potatoes. Scones are a dessert or pastry and are more dense and have fruit in them??? MAYBE THAT WILL HELP????


      I knooooooowwwww!!! I was heartbroken and confused and hurt and it was like finding out that MY OWN FATHER was not who I thought he was all this time!!!

      They are yum!!!

    3. I've never had scones with fruit, but that could just be my family. We usually eat plain or pumpkin scones; they're like small dense cakes, and we eat them with jam, and cream if we're feeling fancy. Okay, let me update the chart:
      Your cookies = our biscuits
      Your biscuits = our dumplings?? (savoury doughboys in stew etc?)
      Your scones = our scones... maybe...?
      And that's right - we don't call anything cookies!

      We'll figure out these strange cultural differences yet. xD

    4. Interesting. I thought fruit ones were the most common, BUT I only ate them once. They seem kind of rare here... maybe they're hard to make?

      Hmmm, no, we have dumplings that sound just like yours so that can't be it.

      Maybe you just DON'T HAVE American Biscuits????? Which is sad, cuz they are so yummy!!! Do you ever have dinner rolls??? They're a bit like that but more chewy and usually made with buttermilk, which makes them sort of sour and creamy??


    5. Dinner rolls... we have dinner/bread rolls?? but I didn't think they were made with buttermilk (to be honest, though, I wouldn't know how they're made).

      Ugh, that's IT. I'm going to have to write a post on Aussie food so we can all work together to thrash the answers out xD

    6. Well, imagine them a bit chewier and you have American Biscuits! ;)

      YES!!! That will be awesome! We need to figure out all the things!!

      Also!!! I tagged you for this... https://storyanddarkchocolate.wordpress.com/2017/09/25/the-mysteriously-nameless-tag-of-doom/ if you care to do it!!

    7. Awesome! a tag!! (Never mind that I take forever; I WILL enjoy doing that one. The title is pretty cool xD) Thanks, Kate!

    8. No worries, I take several months to get around to things these days... like replying to comments...


  6. Wow yay, another Australian! :D (And fancy having to add in Anzac biscuits! People don't know what they're missing out on!)

    1. I've seen you around the blogosphere a bit, Jessica, but I didn't know you were Australian! *high fives* (I considered it my duty in this post to educate people on the best bits of Australian culture xD)

  7. You're not alone, I don't know what Dutch Snowballs or snickerdoodles are.
    And molasses? In biscuits? hmm...
    Tim Tams and Anzacs biscuits are THE BEST.

    1. I could Google them, but... nah. xD

      Definitely right, Chelsea - I especially love Tim Tams (chocolate; what can I say??), and Anzacs are an important part of Australian culture (which I feel the need to promote ;).

  8. HEY I'M THE SAME!! *waves from Australia* I sometimes use the word "cookie" online though just so I don't get weird "wut do you mean" comments. It kind of annoys me that we have to generally cater to the American's non-knowledge of our language but they never know the translations for ours! 😭😂

    Anyway I am 10000% stealing this tag, with your corrections. ;D ;D

    Also YES TIM TAMS ARE DELICIOUS. I've actually had biscuits made on peanut butter, but turns out I'm mildly allergic to nuts so not for yeeears. But I remember them being delicious.😍 Also loved your use of Narnia! And I haven't read Artemis Fowl. #Failure. And I LOVE Jackie French!! A few years back I literally borrowed everything my library had of hers and just devoured them. She's such an iconic Aussie voice. <3 I also love Jay Kristoff, Amie Kaufman, Cath Crowley, and Steph Bowe for some of my #1 favourite Aussie authors. 🎉🎉

    1. YES Why is American culture the default?? (*calms down because I do have lovely American readers*) (But guys, it means you miss out on Tim Tams!)

      Jackie French is a very important part of the Aussie writing scene, in my opinion. And I forgot about Kaufman and Kristoff - probably because Illuminae was set in deep spacey places which did not remind me of Australia at all and therefore didn't trigger my [frankly terrible] memory??

      Thanks for commenting, Cait, and I'd love to see you do this tag! :D

  9. Lovely post, Jem!! I love how you changed it around to "Aussie Biscuits" instead of the whole American cookie thing...
    Also I just love how cultures are so different, even though we speak English, lol.

    And the Thor reference? *fangirls* :D

    1. It is really interesting considering culture differences - even between English-speaking cultures! I'm sure your American cookies are great, though, Julian - for example, monster cookies do look marvelous! (that... was the cookie with the Thor reference. Apparently my fangirl side thinks it's witty??)

  10. I would definitely read a book about a wombat.
    This is a hilarious post! I love biscuits and I love to call them biscuits even though it is not customary in my country. But cookies or biscuits, they are delicious, and comparing them to books is naturally a fantastic notion.
    I love Ella Enchanted! I have not read it in several years, so I am sure if I read it again the ending will have changed...
    A long time ago I read the first four books in the Artemis Fowl series and I enjoyed them, but I never finished the series for some reason. I really liked Artemis.
    "That still only counts as one!" My word, that was funny.
    Great post, and great biscuits!

    1. Aaah you haven't finished the Artemis Fowl series? *zips lips because spoilers* I don't mind if Ella Enchanted's ending stays the same... but I'd like to know how many times I have to watch The Battle of the Five Armies before I unlock the alternative ending??

      Thanks for visiting and commenting, Story Sponge! (I've just checked out your blog and followed... I appreciate the sense of humour ;)

  11. I read the Artemis Fowl series a couple of years ago and I LOVED it! It's one of my all-time favourite series, I love the cast of characters, they're all so adorable in their own way :)

    And we say biscuits where I'm from too. XD


    1. I loved all the characters too! they can be so hilarious xD

      Are you from Britain, Indigo? Because it would make sense if English people said 'biscuit' - we Aussies had to get it from somewhere! ;)

    2. Yeah, I'm from England! I think British and Australian English is quite similar, at least it's more similar than British and American English. It's weird how people from different countries speak the same language, but it's so different at the same time! :)

    3. It IS strange! One example I saw on Pinterest was regarding chips... how your chips are America's fries, and America's chips are your crisps, and Australia just calls everything chips?? (*reads back over comment* I didn't get myself muddled up there, did I??)

  12. #1. Yes! We have Tim Tams here now. (AND I AM ADDICTED.)
    Also, my family was studying the world/geography basically by eating cake and sweets from different parts of the world (Homeschooler perk)so I also have tried Fairy Bread.

    #2. In America, Biscuts are a unsweetened/savory scone/flakey bread lump that we eat with fried chicken. A scone is...well, a scone.

    #3. Now I really, really want to send you a box a snicker doodles because YUM. They are a cookie (biscut) that has been rolled in a cinnamon sugar mixture before baked and just *bliss*

    #4. I love trying new food, so I will now be trying almost all of these cookies. (Mom! It's a cultural thing.)
    (With the exception of the corn flake one)

    #5. Now I feel like there needs to be a cookie- biscuit exchange between Australians and Americans. Like pen pals...but with cookies.

    #6. Please dont worry that I am slowly going backwards through your posts and reading everything. You're the one who made the mistake of following/commenting on my blog ;P


    1. #1. I'm very pleased to hear you have Tim Tams! And wow, that is a very good reason to homeschool ("it's SCHOOLWORK") xD

      #2. Ohh okay. So... your 'biscuits' are what we'd call dumplings?? (lumps of dough which we can eat with stew etc) And scones are what you eat with jam?

      #3. Your snickerdoodles are starting to sound like the cinnamon logs my mum makes! Maybe I have eaten a snickerdoodle after all? ;)

      #4. DO IT. TRY ALLLL THE BISCUITS. For important cultural research reasons.

      #5. YES. I don't know how we'd manage posting them... but NEVER MIND. This needs to be a thing. For, again, important cultural research reasons. Maybe we could even get the British to join in?

      #6. Mary Katherine. Your post was hilarious and I'm not going to apologise for commenting/following xD Thank YOU for commenting/following MY blog!

      #7. Can I just say, I love how you put your comments into a list. I love lists. xD


Comment away! I read all comments - no matter how old the post may be! - and I'll try to reply. Just keep your words appropriate so I won't have to delete your comment (I'd hate to have to do that).