There will be no waffling around and finding entertaining stories to fill out the blog post today.
Look, I sat down and wrote the first four lines, and the rest... well, it came out in chunks, and I had to fit it together, but yeah. Over half as long again as what I wrote for Quirk #11, and twice as long as Quirk #10.
Also I was sniggering 90% of the time I was writing. So I consider this Quirk a success.
★☆★☆★ QUIRK #12 ★☆★☆★
I tap the toe of my shoe against Michael’s, the rubber edges on our off-brand Converse stained green. It’s nice to be lying outside on such lush grass, with the thick grey clouds overhead and the heavy damp air on my skin, so I admire the stains as the mark of adventure.
Michael has his hands tucked under the back of his head and he doesn’t open his eyes when I tap his foot again. “What?”
“I need you to marry me.”
This time, he opens his eyes fairly abruptly. “What.”
Maybe he didn’t hear me. That happens, now I only have a whisper of a voice. “I need you to marry me.”
“No, I heard that, I—what?”
Oh, he’s confused. That’s okay. The situation is complicated. “My contract specifies that I am unable to go into detail—”
“That’s what you say when I ask you about your job, Cora, but I think when you ask me to—” he chokes on something— “marry you, I should be getting some details!”
“I know. But my contract—”
“You do voiceovers for ads, how is your contract even relevant here!”
“It’s relevant for my whole life,” I say, pleasantly. Sometimes I can say things in a pleasant whisper that I wouldn’t be allowed to say in an angry whisper. The rules are complex. It’s hard to know sometimes.
“What, so your contract covers your marriage?”
“Not specifically. That’s how I can do it. But I can’t talk about why I need it.”
There is dead silence for a handful of seconds, then he bursts out again. “No, see—that can’t be right! Really? They’re allowed to do that? Is it even legal? It doesn’t sound legal.”
“The Law that applies to me is fully behind this, Michael. That’s why I’m finding the loopholes.”
“And the loophole to having an incredibly overbearing employer is… marriage?”
“The contract applies to Cora. I won’t be Cora anymore.”
“You—what?”
“I’ll be Cora Michaels.”
He chokes again. “You—How is that different?”
“It’s a different name!”
“Cora, seriously, if you need to change your name you can just do that, you know that, don’t you?” He’s shredding grass now, ripping the blades between his fingers and scattering the pieces over his long-legged jeans.
“I can’t just write a new name on a form and expect that to change my true name!”
“What do you think happens when you marry, Cora?”
“No, see, that’s different.” I sit up. My handwaving gestures are big, and I know if I try to do them while lying next to him, he’s going to get hit. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve hit him accidentally. Or the fifth. Or the tenth. He's such a patient friend. “Marriage goes deep, see? It’s a bonding of souls. Of course that changes your true name. I’ll be Cora Michaels, you’ll be Michael Coras.”
“I know you think you’re explaining things, but the more words that come out, the less sense you’re making.” He sounds slightly strangled.
“I am under no obligation to make sense to you,” I say, as loftily as I can with only a whisper to my name.
Heh. Name. Geddit.
“Cora,” he says. Tone exasperated. Oops. “You’re literally asking me to marry you. As a favour. Because it changes your ‘true name’. I think a little more explanation isn’t unreasonable.”
It would be nice if this made sense to him. I need him, and if he doesn’t understand, he’s not going to commit himself to anything. He’s steady and reliable like that.
It’s not like I’m trying to be difficult, okay! Maybe I’m just terrible at explaining and also under a bit of a geas on how much I can say!
I sigh. Perhaps a different angle. “See this necklace?”
“…yes?”
“What does it make you think of?”
“I suppose the sea, or—the pearl looks like the moon, I suppose—”
“No! Uhhh… what else would wear something around their neck like this?”
“I don’t know! A dog with a collar? An office worker with a tie?”
“First one.”
It takes him a long stretch of blinking but he realises, eventually, that yes, I am comparing this necklace to a collar. “What do you mean—it’s your favourite necklace! You never… take it off…”
I pin him with a stare. “I’m unable to make any further comment on that, but please, Michael, follow that thought to its conclusion.”
“Why—you have a collar?”
“I have a contract.” A statement, not answering the question. Entirely allowed under the Law.
“A collar, and a contract, and a… true name.” He runs his hand over his face with a groan. “Cora, just because I live by the sea and know the stories, doesn’t make this… less difficult.”
“I know,” I say, sympathetically. I don’t, actually. But I’m sorry he’s confused and I know is something humans say to express that they’re sorry.
“Can we, I don’t know, play hot or cold?”
Unfortunately no. “I am unable to give any hints on, well, basically anything you need to know here.”
“What if I ask yes or no questions?”
“That would still be giving you information.”
He hums. “Statements, and you can agree if they’re true because I’m not asking for information?”
Perfect. Perfect perfect perfect now please, Michael, pick some good ones. “Yes.”
He takes a deep breath and leans back, propping himself up on his hands. His eyes flick across my necklace, across my face, and fix firmly on the sky above.
“You’re not human.”
“No.” Such a good one to start, cutting straight to the heart of the situation. Michael is an excellent friend. I tell him so, since there’s no restrictions on that. He turns pink and rushes out his next question.
“You’re from the sea.”
“Yes.”
“You’re a mermaid.”
“Yes.” The geas doesn’t want me to answer but I push through the twinge. I’m not giving him more information than he’s already guessing, this is allowed.
He pauses, this time. “The collar is… only symbolic.”
Silence. His mouth tightens at the corners when he sees I can’t respond to that one.
“The collar is restraining you.”
“Yes.”
“It stops you returning to the sea.”
No. The contract does that.
“It keeps you obedient to someone.”
Honestly, the necklace isn’t as big a deal to me as the contract is, but it seems to really unsettle Michael, so I’ll do my best to answer him. I spin to face him. “Listen to me very carefully, Michael. Listen to me.” I’m close enough that my whisper must be warm and feathery on his skin. “Listen to me and think.” It’s the whisper, he has to pick up on that—
We hold eye contact. He looks away first, then back. I can see realisation spread across his face in the way his eyes and mouth both open slightly wider.
“Please tell me it’s not—no. It—your… voice? In the necklace?”
The rush of relief surprises me; it feels very human. “You are such a good friend, Michael. You are really the very best.
“That—okay. So they have your… voice? for their ads. That’s definitely not above board. You—we need to change your name, break the contract. And that’ll free you. Completely.”
“It will.” I lurch forward and wrap my arms around his shoulders in a hug. He’s stiff for a fraction of a second, then softens and slowly returns the gesture. “After that, my only ties will be to you.”
I feel him suck in a deep breath, but he doesn’t say anything, and his arms tighten.
He is the best friend.
• • • • • • •
“…isn’t that a siren, with the alluring voice? Why didn’t they get a siren to voice their ads instead?”
“Oh, you’re the expert now, are you? That’s good to know.”
Moral of the story: don't enslave magical creatures, folks. They don't like it. Also you may cause heart attacks in the people around them. Poor Michael.
*continues snickering*
• • • • • • •
Shout out to these amazing (as always) Quirk-writers:
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Now, I have family visiting so this will be a pretty short post conclusion. What are you happy to have achieved in April? How did Camp NaNo go? It's exhausting just watching you guys honestly xD What exciting things do you have planned for May? I'm looking forward to organising some things for later in the year (I want. concert tickets.) and I'm also excited to work with my new basketball team! Enjoy what you do, friends, and make sure to take time for music and food and hobbit-like accomplishments. (Namely. Eating LOTS of food. And building yourself a nice tunnel house.)
Aw, Jem, this is lovely. :) I was already chuckling at the title, and then the quirk was just the right mixture of funny and sweet. Poor Michael, indeed. ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Professor! aww I'm glad you feel the funny/sweet mix turned out right! (Michael is Suffering but also not complaining...)
DeleteI had NO idea where you were going with this, but I love where it ended up!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked it, Sarah! and yeah my Quirks seem to be coming out more and more chaotic xD
DeleteSo Michael is a dear. Cora is quite funny and also a dear. I bless their marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis whole quirk is so clever and sweet and SOMEBODY needs to look into the super sketchy practices of this ad company...
ehe I'm glad you think Cora's funny, Magneto! Funny characters can take a bit of balancing so I'm never sure. And yes their marriage will be happening post-haste and then they're immediately going to take down certain ad company!
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